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Bar Yarns w/ just_a_girl, Kirsten Krauth (Merry Christmas Giveaway)

kristen kauth punkSome of you already know this demure debut author – sort of! Kirsten Krauth is not only a great new Aussie author to watch, she’s Editor of the NSW Writers Centre mag, Newswrite.

Kirsten and I met last September – author panel virgins at a NSW Writer Symposium.

A promotion powerhouse, mum, business owner – and more – Kirsten is a fun lady (as you can see by her profile pic – LOL) and a generous author, running a program on her blog for other debut fiction authors, so be sure to check out her blog addy.

But first, here’s a beer coaster, Kirsten. Would you mind jotting down the blurb for your book, just_a_girl, on the back?

just_a_girl tears into the fabric of contemporary culture. A Puberty Blues for the digital age, a Lolita with a webcam, it’s what happens when young girls are forced to grow up too fast. Or never get the chance to grow up at all.

Layla is only 14. She cruises online. She catches trains to meet strangers. Her mother, Margot, never suspects. Even when Layla brings a man into their home. Margot’s caught in her own web: an evangelical church and a charismatic pastor. Meanwhile, downtown, a man opens a suitcase and tenderly places his young lover inside.just a girl

just_a_girl is a novel about being isolated and searching for a sense of connection, faith, friendship and healing, and explores what it’s like to grow up negotiating the digital world of Facebook, webcams, internet porn, mobile phones and cyberbullying – a world where the line between public and private is increasingly being eroded.

Come on in. Grab a pew. What can I get you to go with your beer nuts? (Shandy? Wine Spritzer? Pink Lemonade?)

I’ll have a tequila slammer. Apparently tequila is the only drink you can have a lot of without getting depressed. Don’t forget the worm.

Hey, did you hear the one about …

Why did the man cross the road?

Because he couldn’t get his hat out of his underpants. Actually, that is my son’s favourite joke (at four). And my daughter has started saying it (at two). There are many variations including cats wearing underpants, pooey nappies, undies on head, bums with no underpants. But when my kids tell them, I find myself giggling hysterically. Some things never change.

I’m a beer nut nut! What bar snack would you be and why?

I’d head to San Sebastian and become a tapas in one of the bars in the old quarter. I’d be a skewer with anchovies, olives and peppers. Sharp, spicy, salty and slippery.

Ahh, that beer hit the spot. Let me slip a drink coaster under your glass while you tell us—on a scale of 1 to 10—as a writer are you a messy desker or tidy desker? (NB: 1 = “I am a neat nut case” and 10 = “What desk? Where? Is there a desk here somewhere?”)

That’s tricky. My ideal is about 2, where I can sit down with a clear, neatly ordered space and start. In practice, at the moment it’s about 8. On my desk I have a Carmen Miranda headband with plastic fruit (from my tap dancing concert a few months ago), three mugs with cold tea, a plate hidden up the back with some kind of banana on it, a phone that’s not plugged in and never used, three years of receipts for my BAS (I must get round to), a yoghurt pot from the Basque country and a black lipstick that I bought the other day when pretending to be a punk (see my profile pic).

The publican offers you free drinks all night if you will:

  1. Dance to Gangnam Style
  2. Sing John Denver’s ‘Take me Home Country Roads’ on the Karaoke machine
  3. Spend an hour washing dishes

Which do you choose?

Oh, there’s no choice. Gangnam Style. I’ve been dancing to it for years. Only if I can play the part of the horse, though. And someone else does the whipping bit. I have a weakness for dancing. Some people will wait for the right song to come on. But not me. I love disco. I have learnt tap, hiphop, salsa, African, jazz, belly dancing — but never ballet. Who can be bothered with it?

Time to liven the place up. Got a buck? We can crank up the old jukebox in the corner. You get to pick three songs.

  1. Stone Roses, Resurrection – to get the party into action
  2. Salt + Peppa, Push It – the best dance song in the history of the world when you’re very inebriated
  3. Nick Cave + The Bad Seeds, The Weeping Song – to regret your earlier actions (they lied about the tequila)

An author, an agent and a chicken walk into the bar… how do you know which one crossed the road?

Perhaps this links to my earlier joke. Look for the one with hands in their underpants. I don’t think many authors or agents can walk past a bar, even if it involves going on a long detour around the block – lushes, the lot of them. NEVER let an agent buy you a drink before signing anything.

NSW Symposium 09_13
And here is Kirsten ‘unpunked and pretty in blue’ at the NSW Author Symposium

There’s a stapler on the bar. Tell me what it’s doing there.

The publican uses it to murder all those who refuse to leave after last rounds, and insist on staying until ugly lights. Staple in the temple and locked up in an old warehouse ready for demolition. Sounds like The Wire, doesn’t it.

The pub is the heart of a small town and most locals would be lost without one. What are three things you’d be lost without?

  1. My kids waking me up at the crack of dawn every morning, while my husband snores beside me.
  2. A book, and a couch to read it on.
  3. Green spaces.

There are a few good prizes up for grabs in the bar jackpot. Do you have a lucky number?

7 (apparently nearly everyone chooses 7)

Last drinks, my friend! It’s been great. But before we go, tell us how we can find out more about you and your writing/books.

Come over and spend more time with me at Wild Colonial Girl or, if you’re in Castlemaine, always happy to smash a tequila down on the bar with you.

Find out more about just_a_girl: http://uwap.uwa.edu.au/books-and-authors/book/just_a_girl/

Buy my novel (paperback or ebook) at Amazon

Follow my blog at Wild Colonial Girl: http://www.wildcolonialgirl.com

Hang out with me at Goodreads

Visit me on Twitter (@wldcolonialgirl) or Facebook /wildcolonialgirl

GIVEAWAY TIME: It must be Christmas because Kirsten has pressies for two lucky readers: one printed and signed copy of just_a_girl and one e-book version.

Leave a comment below (and if you have a pref).  Comp closed. Congrats Elizabeth and Brenda.

If you enjoyed this Bar Yarn, there are lots more to come including more great giveaways. So you never miss a post, whack your email in the TELL ME! box (above/right).

Just wait until you see who’s dropping by for a Bar Yarn next. Prepare to giggle.

 

Posted on 5 Comments

Author Bar Yarns w/ Walter Mason – Writer. Scholar. Dreamer

Walter Destination Cambodia_Small imageWalter Mason – Writer. Scholar. Dreamer. – Author of Destination Saigon and Destination Cambodia.

Welcome. You are my very first travel writer. Yay!

You are also supposed to be a calming spirit. Instead, our bar yarn has made me splutter my beer over the barmaid! You are one funny guy with a beautiful and unique outlook on life, travel writing and the universe. So lovely to meet you.

Here’s how our chat went…

Come on in. Grab a pew. What can I get you to go with your beer nuts? (Shandy? Wine Spritzer? Pink Lemonade?)

I’m afraid my formative years fell in the early 90s, so Long Island Iced Teas are my tipple of choice. It’s a terribly expensive habit.

Hey, did you hear the one about …

I laugh at almost everything – it gets me into terrible trouble. I am completely undiscriminating and roar with laughter at the jokes of 7 year-olds. I did smirk recently when I heard an author, asked to describe his early life, say: “I was born at a young age, in a hospital so I could be close to my mother…”

I’m a beer nut nut! What bar snack would you be and why?

In Vietnam they toast dried cuttlefish over coals – perfect with hot cans of beer poured Walter Masonover ice. I once lived on this for four days in a row.

Ahh, that beer hit the spot. Let me slip a drink coaster under your glass while you tell us—on a scale of 1 to 10—as a writer are you a messy desker or tidy desker? (NB: 1 = “I am a neat nut case” and 10 = “What desk? Where? Is there a desk here somewhere?”)

LOL – every couple of days I am a tidy desker and then things deteriorate as it gets crowded with cosmetics (I always like to look  good while I am writing) unpaid bills and boxes of Fruit Loops.

The publican offers you free drinks all night if you will:

     Dance to Gangnam Style

     Sing John Denver’s ‘Take me Home Country Roads’ on the Karaoke machine

     Spend an hour washing dishes

Which do you choose?

I would gladly do all three. I can see the particular pleasure in each. I am the perfect guest.

Time to liven the place up. Got a buck? We can crank up the old jukebox in the corner. You get to pick three songs.

  1. ‘Gimme, Gimme, Gimme’ by Abba – the ultimate song of sexual desperation
  2. ‘Rapture’ by Blondie – the worst rap ever. Never fails to please – something about eating Subarus.
  3. ‘What’s Goin’ On?’ by Marvin Gaye – to reassure everyone that I am cool and smooth after all.

An author, an agent and a chicken walk into the bar… how do you know which one crossed the road?

The author, definitely – they could never afford a taxi to take them right to the door. The bus dropped them off four blocks away.

There’s a stapler on the bar. Tell me what it’s doing there.

To collect all my expenses claims. Which I will carefully file and discover six useless years later underneath an old copy of ‘Men’s Fitness’.

The pub is the heart of a small town and most locals would be lost without one. What are three things you’d be lost without?

  1. Liniment – wherever I am in the world I head straight to the local herbalist to get     their patent mixture that cures everything – I am a terrible hypochondriac and always looking for the miracle cure.
  2. Self-help books – I am always reading a dozen. I like to think I will one day do  Walter Buddha mural cambodia    everything listed in them and thereafter be incredibly successful. After I have read my back issues of ‘Men’s Fitness’.
  3. Cologne – cheap or expensive, I don’t care. I just need to mask the smell of liniment. I love perfumes, and always have a couple of dozen bottles in various rooms around the house. I will pause in between hanging out the washing and taking leaves out of the gutter to douse myself in Calvin Klein’s latest. When I was a child my mother had an accident with a bottle of Charlie in the back of our car and I’m afraid I have been hooked on scents ever since. Oh, and my Aunty was an Avon lady. That’s what I wanted to be when I grew up.

There are a few good prizes up for grabs in the bar jackpot. Do you have a lucky number?

Your lucky number is: 1111 or 888 – of course

Walter, here’s a beer coaster. Take a minute to jot down the blurb for your book.

Join intrepid traveller, Walter Mason – author of Destination Saigon – on a colourful adventure to one of the world’s hottest new destinations. Meet writers, drag queens  and monks as he traverses this extraordinarily beautiful country.

The ancient and mysterious ruins of Cambodia have long captured the imagination of visitors, more so now than ever before. In Destination Cambodia, Walter Mason charts an affectionate, intimate and deeply personal look at a Kingdom that has drawn him back again and again since his youth.
Whether he’s watching young monks recite the Buddha’s life stories, visiting shamans and fortune tellers, or discovering the darker alleys of Phnom Penh with a romantic novelist and a world-weary street hustler, Walter takes the reader straight to the heart of this famously unknowable country. As heat, dust and weariness take their toll, he remains alive to the charms, and even seductions, of a place that was once a byword for misery and human suffering.
Destination Cambodia takes us on a joyful and constantly fascinating literary journey in which Cambodia is vibrant and its people excited about the future while never denying their haunted past.

Last drinks, my friend! It’s been great.

I’m adding a link to Kirsten Krauth, Wild Colonial Girl where she did a great blog post on your  writing and books. (Go to Kirsten’s blog.) Kirsten will be here having a yarn with me soon with a great Christmas Giveaway.

Walter, before we go, tell us how we can find out more about you and your writing/books.

You can read about my latest book, Destination Cambodia, at Allen & Unwin:

My website is at: www.waltermason.com

On Twitter you can find me @walterm

On Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/waltermasonauthor

My fabulous and slightly scandalous Tumblr (overweight cats, highbrow books and pics of tiramisu): http://waltermason.tumblr.com/

Oh, and I also run the Universal Heart Book Club with Stephanie Dowrick at: www.universalheartbookclub.com