A quick trip from my place (up the east coast highway) and I found the lovely Lisa Walker, author of two wonderful, witty reads.
Lisa, my Author Harvest tradition requires you start by telling me if it’s scones and tea or some other homemade delight you have whipped up for me today.
Soy chai and a banana – that’s the way we roll here on the north coast.
(Very appeeling!)
Lisa, at home…
My mum says garden gnomes make a house a home! Are you loud and proud in your love of garden gnomes at home, a closet gnomer or with a strict ‘no gnomes’ policy at your place?
Strictly indoor gnomes here, I have seven Japanese gnomes on my desk.
What vegetable (or fruit) have you always wanted to grow at home?
I have the opposite of green fingers but dream of growing basil. Sadly, my love affair with basil is unrequited – as soon as I plant it, it dies.
(I am philosophical about my basil battle. I do my best Kung Fu stance and say, ‘Ahhhh, Grasshopper…bon appetit!)
If I came to your home and looked in the refrigerator, what would I find?
Defrosting marinara mix which my husband will do something fabulous with I hope (because calamari and I don’t get on at all) and a lifetime’s supply of pre-made garlic bread which fills a hole in my two enormous sons.
(You mean feed their creative streak! (Anyone who hasn’t seen the trailer Lisa’s very clever son put together, you are missing a treat. I love that trailer. See her website detail below)
If you sorted your wardrobe by colour, what colour would stand out? (Ahh, do you sort your wardrobe by colour?!)
Blue polka dots are breaking out all over the place at the moment.
(Funny, I was certain you would say yellow stripes!)
What are you wearing now? (Be honest!)
I’m naked (as per question one, that’s the way we roll…)
(I was meaning to talk to you about that…!)
Whose home would you like to housesit and why?
Nanook of the north – I am trying to work an igloo sex scene into my next book though the clothing layers are proving challenging (unlike here on the north coast…)
(Umm, Lisa, my dear, another Author Harvest tradition is that the guests answer the question only. They do not add the witty bits–okay? (‘Cause that’s how WE roll in the not quite so north coast!)
Country curiosities…
We love a sunburnt country (slip, slop, slap and all that). What’s your ideal hat? 
Or are you a boots person?
Hats!! I love them and have way too many, but am still on the lookout for the hat of my dreams – I’m thinking 1920s cloche.
(Ooh, ooh, here I am in my DIY cloche from the 2011 RWA cocktail party. Wow! Never thought I’d have the opportunity to use THAT pic again! You are back in the good books.)
If you were a tree (or animal) what kind of tree (animal) would you be?
Dolphin (as per question one)
Now for the big question… Why did the chicken cross the road?
There was a hat shop on the other side and it thought, this time…
(Is that a dig at the old chook above in the cloche hat?)
About you…
Your turning point: when was that point in your life that you realized that being an
author was no longer going to be just a dream but a reality and a career?
After many, many years of trying to get published, my long-awaited book contract mysteriously morphed from a one-book to a two-book deal. It was a total surprise and I signed it quickly before they realised there’d been a mistake!
(LOL – I know that feeling!)
What is the hardest part of writing for you?
Writing the first draft is a time of incredible self-doubt. Just because I’ve written a novel once, doesn’t mean that I know how to do it again. Alas!
(But you did!)
If someone was to write your biography, what do you think the title should be?
Is it Just Me?
(Another version might be…. Is it just me or is there a draught in here?
Can I pass you a nice little polka dot number from your wardprobe, perhaps? You got me so flustered I also spelled draught wrong!)
What question have you always wanted to be asked in an interview? How would you answer that question?
Q: How did you get to be such an amazingly insightful and funny writer while still being so impeccably groomed and talented in the kitchen?
A: The cheque’s in the mail.
Fun stuff …
What does your protagonist think about you? Would he or she want to hang out with you, the author, his/her creator?
I think she would probably want me to put some clothes on, (we both do actually. It is a little chilly for so far north by the looks!) but after that we could settle down, play monopoly, chat about Japanese literature (or Japanese gnomes) and invent some ridiculous euphemisms to use in our erotic writing.
(Errr…erotic? Your book … it’s about bonsai. It’s a gardening guide, right?)
If you could trade places with any other person for a week, famous or not famous, living or dead, real or fictional, with whom would it be?
I like the way you say ‘with whom’ Jenn, I think I’d better go back and check my grammar.
(Well, here we go again with the DIY witty comments, again. Sheesh!)
If I said to you, “Just entertain me for five minutes, I’m not going to talk,” what would you do?
(Please, whatever it is, can it involve clothes?)
If only you’d given me a bit more notice, I would have learnt some card tricks.
What food would you be?
Creamy Tuna Pasta – there’s a very sexy recipe on page 272 of ‘Sex, Lies and Bonsai’.
(Oooooh, so it’s a recipe book. Phew!)
What was the best thing before sliced bread?
Cloche hats. Definitely.
Name 5 uses for a stapler that has not staple pins.
That’s a great question – in my house we have at least five staplers with no stapler pins which are performing no useful function at the moment. I now feel inspired to take them out and use them as : paper weights, cockroach whackers, objets de art, percussion instruments and mobiles.
How weird are you? Rate yourself on a scale of 1 (not) to 10 (very).
1 (it’s just everyone else who’s out of step)
What fun! Thanks Lisa. Seriously, folks, the lovely Lisa Walker is a funny lady. Check out her books:
Here is the blurb for Sex, Lies and Bonsai.
Have you ever felt the need to start again?
Dumped by text message, Edie flees Sydney for the refuge of her childhood home, taking only a wilting bonsai to remind her of her failure. But in this small coastal town, shy, awkward Edie has always lived in the shadow of her surf champion father. How can she move on from her ex and from her past?
Her best friend and life-coach, Sally, is full of dubious advice, but Edie finds there are many ways to mess things up all by herself. A new-found talent for erotic writing, a job-drawing crab larvae, unrequited lust for a professor with hidden depths and a maddening musician with troubles of his own add to her bulging swag of problems. And then things get complicated…
A tender and witty tale about finding your voice, falling in love and… crab sex.
Connect, buy, etc
Website: www.lisawalker.com.au
Blog: http://lisawalkerwriter.wordpress.com/
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/lisawalkerhome
Twitter: @lisawalkertweet
Buy on booktopia
Buy on amazon
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See the bumper crop of harvested authors – HERE.
There’s plenty more in store with, summer, autumn and winter harvest.
Thank you for dropping by.
so there it is – the hat of my dreams, so near and yet so far. Thanks for having me over, Jenn. So sorry about my unsuitable attire, next time I’ll be much more repectable 🙂
Oh gosh. I don’t know which way to roll first. Far north. Not so far north. Or on the floor laughing. Thank you ladies, that was a hoot.
Great interview Jenn and Lisa. Jenn, I was lucky enough to attend Lisa’s book launch recently and think I’ll keep Sex, Lies and Bonsai on my bedside table even after I read it as the cover is soooo pretty!!
I agree Jen, for a gardening book it’s quite lovely. LOL
A fun interview – thanks for sharing!
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