Dear Nicki,

Here you are, twenty-one years old today. Happy Birthday. In the next few hours you’ll accept a very unromantic marriage proposal but you’ll know you’ve made the right decision to say yes to this man. Although things will get tough at times, you’ll hang in there because you’ve met a very special man who ‘gets’ you.

You’ve had a busy life already – living overseas in Canada and the UK – and although you imagine you’ll do lots more travel over the next few years, you won’t. You’ll realise that family comes first.

You’ll have four kids in quick succession (less than two years apart) and love them more than you ever thought was possible. They will be your greatest achievement and success. But it won’t be easy, I’m sorry. You’ll be either pregnant or breastfeeding for most of the 1990’s and sleep deprivation and toddler tantrums will be your world. Take photos because the memories will fade too quickly.

At times you’ll feel like you’re the worst mother in the world – that mother – the one other mothers look down on, but it’s NOT TRUE. Don’t believe the lies your tired brain makes up. You are a very good mother. Want to know how I know that? Ask your kids. Jeremy, Chloe, Zachary and Toby, now 21, 19, 17 and 15. They will stir you and tease you and joke about your idiosyncrasies but they love you for who you are. You will never serve on the school canteen roster, you will forget to attend parent teacher interviews, you will fall asleep in the car watching your sons play football, but when it counts, you’ll be there and they know it. Your only prayer was for happy, healthy, well adjusted kids and you’ve got that. Your eldest turned twenty-one you remembered your own twenty-first party like it was yesterday. By the way, what were you thinking with that perm and that dress??

You’ll be tired for most of your 20’s and 30’s, but you’ll flourish during those stay at home mum years. You’ll pastor a church alongside your husband, preach and sing before hundreds, meet some amazing people and discover your gifting isn’t pastoral care! You will, however, have the opportunity to pursue your dream to become a nurse. And you’ll be a very good one. You’ll find your ‘fit’ and become a passionate advocate for the nursing profession.

You’ll work hard, you’ll be passionate, enthusiastic and energetic and people will constantly ask you how you fit everything in. The answer is easy. It’s because you have mastered the art of boundaries and learned how to say ‘no’. Congratulations. Not many people learn how to do that. But remember, sometimes it’s okay to say ‘yes’. Slowing down, sitting down and catching up with someone for a coffee isn’t always a waste of time. By the way, you should have learned to drink coffee and tea when you were younger because it’s antisocial just drinking water when you go out.

You’ll move houses more often than you expect and you’ll continue to love making new places ‘home’ for you and your family. Your Great Australian Dream of owning your own house will come and go multiple times so hold that loosely in your fingers and don’t get caught up in the belief that owning a house and ‘stuff’ is everything. It’s not.

If I could offer you some advice though, I’d encourage you to get your finances sorted so you don’t live pay to pay because one day that pay won’t be there and you’ll have your most difficult season yet while you’re studying fulltime and your husband isn’t working. That owning your own house thing? That’s why I said you need to hold it loose and not get worried when it’s not yours any more.

You’ll make friendships that will come and go – that saying about people coming into your life for a reason and a season is very relevant. You’ll maintain strong relationships with the friends you’ve had since your early twenties. Cherish them. Those friends will be there when things are at their lowest.

You’ll struggle with your weight and I wish you wouldn’t. Again, you’ll get caught up in comparisons. Stop it. You’ll realise being skinny doesn’t make you happy. You’ll lose weight, gain it, lose it, gain it again. Just embrace your curves. Be happy and healthy. Waking up every morning obsessed with what you’re not going to eat and how many kilometres you’re going to run to burn off calories is not the way to live. You will try it once and although you will look amazing, it won’t be sustainable.

Most of all, Nicki, you’ll dream big dreams and you’ll chase them. You’ll have a motto that’s very true. “Those who say it can’t be done shouldn’t interrupt the person doing it.” Keep doing it Nicki, whatever ‘it’ is.

Signed,

Your 46 year old self.

 ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Nicki Edwards is a city girl with a country heart. Growing up on a small family acreage, she spent her formative years riding horses and pretending the neighbour’s farm was her own. Nicki writes medical rural romance for Momentum and when she isn’t reading, writing or dreaming about rural life and medical emergencies, she can be found working as a Critical Care Nurse in a busy Intensive Care Unit, where many of her stories and characters are imagined.

Nicki lives in Geelong, Victoria with her husband and their four teenage/young adult children. Life is busy, fun and at times exhausting, but Nicki wouldn’t change it for anything. Visit her at nickiedwards.com.au.

BUY LINK: Amazon Australia

Thank you, Nic, and readers for dropping by.

Wanting to honour the lost art of letter writing through this blog series, I also opened my fourth novel with a character writing a letter. And not just any letter. It’s a story — perhaps the most important he’ll ever tell.

The Other Side of the Season

Life is simple on top of the mountain for David, Matthew and Tilly until the winter of 1979 when tragedy strikes, starting a chain reaction that will ruin lives for years to come. Those who can, escape the Greenhill banana plantation on the outskirts of Coffs Harbour. One stays—trapped for the next thirty years on the mountain and haunted by memories and lost dreams. That is until the arrival of a curious young woman, named Sidney, whose love of family shows everyone the truth can heal, what’s wrong can be righted, the lost can be found, and . . . there’s another side to every story.

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